One thing everyone lives to find is love. Our lives revolve around it. It’s what gives us strength to keep going. We all know John 3:16 states that God sent His son to die for us because He LOVES us. That amount of love is so immeasurable for me to even fathom. As a parent, I can’t imagine giving up my child for someone else’s sin. But God did for love. Love is sacrificial. He gave His perfect son for imperfect people to experience love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 states Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I’ve always thought of these verses being referenced to marriage and love with your spouse, but now being a parent this can be applied towards my child and future children, as well as, everyone else in my life that I love! The feeling of love is easy, but the work that comes with showing love isn’t always easy. When we love someone, we want to show them we love them.
How can I show those dear to me how much I love them? I can show them in all sorts of ways that I feel is showing love, but is it in a way that they receive love? For years I thought I knew how to love, but I recently learned that it isn’t about loving people my way rather than loving them their way.
I read another book called “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman that really opened my eyes to true love! I sound like I read a lot and honestly I wish I did, but I don’t. It takes a whole lot of hype from several people for me to finally get around to reading it, and I always love it in the end but starting a book is hard! Anyways, this book has given me insight of understanding people and the way they receive and feel love. Here are the 5 ways of showing love to those around you.
5 Love Languages
Words of Affirmation: “You look beautiful/handsome” “You are doing a great job” “Thank you for cleaning your toys” “You are a great reader” “You did so well in school this year” People who feel love through words of affirmation strive off of compliments and feeling love through the words spoken to them. They need to be affirmed that they are doing something right and it is acknowledged through words.
Quality Time: “Let’s spend the day together” “Do you want to read a book together?” “Let’s go play at the park” “Let’s watch a movie together” Those who feel loved through quality time, need just that. Your time. They know you love and care when you invest your time to them.
Physical Touch: Put your arm around them, hug them, kiss them, let them sit on your lap, hold their hand. They feel love when they are touched.
Receiving Gifts: This goes beyond birthdays and Christmas or other gift giving holidays. This is when you are out and about and see something that reminds you of them and you buy it to give to them or something small that doesn’t have to cost anything, but is an item that represents that they were on your mind.
Acts of Service: Do something for them. Make their bed, clean up their toys, wash their clothes, hold them when they don’t want to walk. These all sound like chores, but while they are young before they understand what love means we are filling their love tank and they don’t even know it, yet.This doesn’t mean to always do their responsibilities for them or to do them at all. It’s just a small way to show an act of love towards them.
Looking over these you might be able to pick out which one fills your love tank the most, but it may not be how everyone else feels love. We tend to show love the way we feel loved, but we aren’t showing each person love in a way they receive it most! Every gesture is taken through love. If you feel loved through quality time and your spouse or child feels love through acts of service, yet you spend more quality time with them than serving, they won’t truly be getting fulfilled because they aren’t receiving enough services. A good way to tell how someone else feels love is by noticing how they give love.
As parents, our lives our focused on showing our kids the most love that we know how. Now we know the best way to show love is the way they receive it the most. Love that makes them thrive and want to love you and others back. Love that gives them purpose. Love that makes them feel important.
My daughter is two so I haven’t fully been able to access what is her true love language. I do my best to show her love in all areas. I’m not perfect and I can always show more patience and endure better through the challenging days. To know HOW to love and gain knowledge and understanding of her needs, as well as my husbands, makes me a better mom and wife and love them correctly.
Some of you may have read this book and that is awesome. If you haven’t I would encourage you to read it. If we can show love in a way that is received the most, maybe just maybe, will our world slowly lose depression, hurts, habits, and hangups. People are looking for love in areas where they won’t find it. Love is so powerful and can change so much. Our world lacks love in the publicity of all things discussed, but it also lacks the love specifically given to each individual. Don’t get me wrong, love is received in all ways. God made us unique and with our uniqueness comes our own type of love. Love comes from the Father who first loved us so that we can love each other. 1 John 4:19.
If there are any parenting or birthing questions that you would like to know more information about, let me know. I would love to share my thoughts and experiences with it. I love sharing my experiences with other moms like you! We are all on the same journey learning as we go. I don’t know all the answers, but I read and find what works best for us and would encourage all of you to do the same. Also, if you missed my last post don’t forget to read “4 Ways to Understanding Your Child’s behavior”.