In the past, I have been guilty of saying “Our country is a mess already so what difference am I going to make to fix it?” I’ve slowly begun to realize that one human can’t change the world, but I can influence my family and those around me, and one of those ways is how we choose to raise our children.
It saddens me to see that children are rapidly becoming the ones in charge. I don’t think parents say “I’m going to let our children run our household”, but society has shown us that disciplining our children is a terrible idea, and the outcome of that idea is entitlement. What they don’t show us is that through love, discipline doesn’t have to be harmful but, rather, educational.
You have extremists who are completely against discipline and more about understanding your child and their ways, and then you have those that think discipline is the only way to steer a child in the way they should go. I think that both ways are great, but there is a way to establish both in your household in a healthy way.
Love, given to our child at a young age, goes a long way in their eyes and is the absolute most important trait we should teach our children who are born in a world full of hate and sin. We only get one chance to impact our children’s lives, and that can put a lot of pressure on parents who want their children to succeed in life no matter what that may look like. Maybe I’m the only one that feels the pressure… but the pressure is real!
How do we establish authority over our kids and show love all at the same time? To me, that was hard to figure out. I read blog after blog about one extreme from the other and I think “those are so good”, but how can I implement both?
Patience for one.
In our fast paced world and impatience that is quick to enter our minds, it is so hard for me to stop and let my daughter figure things out on her own, or do it herself because it takes 30 more minutes than it would me. Its easy to get frustrated and yell at her to hurry, but doing everything for her is not teaching her independence and endurance to try until she succeeds. Our patience, now, will be rewarded slowly as we see our children learn and succeed in what they do.
As adults we have to see the situation as our child would. We know EVERYTHING right? Our children haven’t lived and learned like we have. They haven’t been around long enough to decipher their feelings. They don’t understand why we let them have candy at lunch, but not right before they go to bed or as soon as they wake up. “Because I said so” should not be our excuse. We are explaining and teaching our WHOLE world and everything in it to someone who knows nothing about it. So lets teach them. Let our “kids be kids”, but with boundaries. Let them live, learn, explore, and create but with respect, love, and consideration of others around them.
How can we do that? Discipline with love.
Discipline is a KEY to life. Without discipline, our children can not succeed in adulthood. Discipline is all around. Discipline teaches us limits and responsibility. We have to be disciplined to show up to work on time every day, to pay our bills when they are due, to go to sleep at a decent time so our bodies are at its full potential to take on each day of life that we have, to be health conscious so our organs work properly, etc. All of these things have a background of discipline when we were in our learning stages of life.
Petty? Yes, probably so. But it is all around me and its not good. Our country will not succeed or change with leaders who grew up entitled to have whatever they wanted, to do whatever they wanted, to show up whenever they wanted. Discipline is the seed of success. We all need to be reminded that we are in authority over our children. We have our children’s best interest in mind, whether they see that now or not. We show them love and we show them discipline!
Our country has come a long way in many areas that have given us an “easier and quicker” lifestyle, but our manners don’t have to change. Our character doesn’t have to change. Our children become in charge when, through experience, they learn that nobody tells me what to do. We have created a “too much peace” mentality, which in turn creates chaos.
Our children are new sponges waiting to be filled up. What we choose to fill them up with will determine the course of their lives, and the course of their lives will determine this countries future.
We all complain about our country and our leaders and how we are on a downward spiral. What has happened and what is happening is for sure out of our control. However, we can change our focus from the larger perspective and narrow it down to a smaller perspective of us and our cities, and when we all choose to implement love & discipline in our households, then we will see change in this country and WE can make our country great again.
My daughter is shown an incredibly large amount of love, but we are also teaching and guiding her to live a life of success. She has her manners and she knows how to behave. She can run around the house screaming, playing, and being creative, but knows her limits when we go in public. She is being taught with love and laughter. She knows that her parents love her more than anything in this world. She loves us and wants to be around and ON us constantly. She isn’t scared of us. She doesn’t hate us. When she gets disciplined, she knows why. We don’t leave her confused and wondering what she did. She knows. She learns. She grows. She will not be limited to anything. She will be given any opportunity she works hard for. She won’t be entitled to anything. She will earn her spot in life. Nothing will be handed to her. Because with all of that comes character and integrity, and that is what all of our children need.