I think every working mom probably feels the same thing: You go through big chunks of time where you are just thinking, “This is impossible — oh, this is impossible.” And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible. -Tina Fey
Are you a working mom that struggles with leaving your kids?
Are you a better mother to your kids BECAUSE you work?
Do you desire to be a stay-at-home mom one day?
If you are a mom that struggles with leaving your kids to go work, I know your hurt.
When I was pregnant, I knew I was going back to work and didn’t think much about it. Once my daughter was born, I dreaded the day I would have to leave her and go back to work. I robbed my entire maternity leave of thinking that it was going to be gone before I knew it and I would lose the precious day in and day out time with my child. Even though each day I enjoyed such sweet time with her, I was constantly thinking this would come to an end.
In this instance of life, don’t dwell on what the future holds. Focus on the time you have NOW and make the days last as long as possible. Don’t wish for their bedtime to come sooner, because you are exhausted (I’ve been there). Fill your days with what will make you look back and say “I did everything I wanted to do with my child during that time.”
As my first day back to work approached, I prepared myself that it would be hard and I would probably cry my entire drive to work. I planned for my mom to keep her, for my first week back, to help me adjust easier. When the day came for me, I didn’t cry! Most of you might, and that is okay. Let all those tears flow!I’m not sure why I didn’t, but I felt the “mom guilt” that I didn’t miss my baby enough to cry. Honestly, the first day was the easiest. The days to come was when the burden I felt of not being a good mom started to build up. I started to feel like I didn’t have the energy to give 100% at work, 100% to my husband, and 100% to my daughter. I felt like I was only halfway doing everything and I wasn’t able to catch up…. AND I was only working 25 hours at the time! But I have recently realized that its not the amount of hours I spend at work, but the RIGHT hours that I spend at work (More on that later).
Are you a better mother to your kids BECAUSE you work?
That’s great! We ALL need to do what is the best for our own families. I went through a phase where Kate required more attention than she did as a sleep & eat baby, and all I needed was to go to work and breath a little without the crying, tugging on my hair, spitting up all over me, FULL TIME job that being a mother required. I enjoyed the adult interaction with my coworkers and clients, and wearing an outfit for 7 hours that didn’t get ruined from spit up or baby food! Can I get an amen?! Even if you are a stay-at-home mom, EVERY mom just wants to wear an outfit for a few hours without it getting it ruined.
During this phase, I thought “Maybe I am better as a working mom. Kate loves playing with her friends, I enjoy adult interaction on a daily basis, it gets me out of the house, and gives me a reason to get ready and feel good about myself.”
I looked forward to the weekends where I was off and able to spend time with Kate, and then by the 3rd day I was ready to be back at work. I was more exhausted on my “off days” than I was during the weeks I was at work!
If you feel confident that working is keeping your sanity towards your kids and spouse and you love them harder on the days you are home, then that is exactly what you need to be doing and you are doing an amazing job at balancing out your work life and home life.
Are you a mom that desires to be a stay-at-home mom?
ME TOO. I’ve gone through all the working mom emotions. “I’m going back to work” – “I don’t want leave her” – “I’m so ready to go back to work” – “Okay, I’m done trying to juggle both. I just want to stay home”.
Have you said any of these to yourself? When times are easy you don’t want to leave, but when different phases and new challenges come, you need a break?
I fully understand, now, when people say stay-at-home moms are full time jobs. Yes, yes they are. It’s probably a little like owning your own business, your work goes where you go. You get no break, because you are constantly thinking, breathing, and working to grow your business…. And that is how full time mom works, whether you work or stay home, you are thinking, breathing, and working all day everyday doing your best at giving your children a life worth living!
Which leads me to this…
Are there steps you can begin to make that can allow staying home to become a reality? What is the best step for your family? By your decision, will your family thrive?
My question to myself right now, is what is best for our family in the long run?? I don’t know yet. I’m just taking it one day at a time (we all should) until the Lord tells me it is time that I can trust in Him to make this big step in life, and I know He will, because the Bible says in Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.” And my desire is to stay home and teach my child everything I know, and serve my family!
To working mom’s everywhere, you are doing a great job at balancing your life! I know how it feels to not feel like we are doing anything right, but you are and your children love you! May you find the right balance to your life and schedule and make the most out of your time wherever you are spending it.
From a fellow working mom,